The key to wedded bliss isn’t over-the-top romance, but these surprisingly simple practices you can do to stay – or fall back – in love with your partner. By Holly Corbett,REDBOOK.
Not trying to change each other
Maybe you wish he folded his socks, or that he would chat it up with your friends without prompting. But, his inability to notice hair in the sink may stem from the laid-back personality that drew you to him in the first place. “One of the things we see with happy couples is that they know their partner’s differences, and have pretty much stopped trying to change
the other person,” says Darren Wilk, a certified Gottman Couples Therapist with a private practice in Vancouver, British Columbia. “Rather than trying to fight their partner’s personality style, they instead focus on each other’s strengths.” To better understand how to tap into both of your best qualities, take this quick relationship personality quiz.
Framing your demands as favors
Whether you want him to unload the dishwasher more often or pay closer attention to the kids, your partner will be more likely to change his behavior if he feels like he’ll get relationship brownie points. “Throw it out there like a favor. Present it like ‘here is the recipe for what will make me happy,’ because everyone wants to make their partner feel happy,” says Wilk. “When you present your needs, present them as what you do want rather than what you don’t want.” Instead of saying, “I hate when you have to have everything scheduled,” try saying, “I would love to have a day where we can just be spontaneous.”