Extreme Marriage Makeover

What is the Extreme Marriage Makeover?

Couple separated by a wall We recognize that many people feel stuck in their marriage, and you may not even know if you feel like working on your relationship. This is normal, and a great many couples start here. All that is needed is a desire to make it better, even if the loving feelings are just a distant memory.

Typical Program Length: Three to four months. After this we suggest a maintenance coaching program.

Cost: $400-800 (CAD) per month. Think of this in the same way as vehicle maintenance: not always fun, but necessary -- and you feel much better afterwards. We often invest more into our cars than we do on the most important decision we have ever made: our Marriage! (Hourly rates are also available.)

This includes:

  • Individual face-to-face counseling sessions in our Langley, BC office to re-establish a foundation for your relationship. This is necessary because of the intensity of the issues and emotions involved in resolving these early problems. For those at a distance we suggest you consider marathon therapy sessions.
  • We have developed our counseling/coaching approach around the research of John Gottman, who has spent 35 years studying what works in relationships. This scientific 'nuts and bolts' approach to working with couples ensures that you are provided with tools that get results.
  • Topics include:

    1. Understanding personality differences
    2. How to build passion and love back into the relationship
    3. How to solve or dialogue effectively about any issue you face
    4. Learning about love languages and how to discover yours
    5. How to process failed bids for connection
    6. Building a shared meaning system that propels you into a more fulfilling future.
    Of course, this is only a partial list of what is covered in marriage counseling sessions.

  • Email interaction and projects.
  • Access to a clients only area of this web site to research further into the BestMarriages.com material, assessments and forms provided.
  • You will learn:

  • How your personality styles effects your relationship and what to do about it
  • How to identify patterns such as the "closeness/distance dance", "control/responsibility", "it's not you it's me" concept, "Artist/scientist", and the "conventional vs unconventionality dilemma"
  • About simple negotiation techniques
  • How to identify and find antidotes for the "Four Horsemen; Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling."
  • About your “Friendship Profile”, the “Conflict Profile”, and the “Shared Meanings Profile”.
  • How to resolve the "physiological flooding" and anxious feelings that accompany many relationships
  • To successfully dialogue about grid-locked conflicts
  • Establish six social skills necessary for effective conflict resolution.
  • To love unconditionally with no strings attached
  • Stages of forgiveness and how to apologize and mean it
  • How to deepen the 'friendship System"
  • How to develop and create a shared system of values and meanings.
  • We also offer professional advice and guidance on dealing with:

  • Affairs, depression, addiction, trauma and violent behavior.
  •    You will be expected to:

  • Do weekly homework
  • Participate fully in all appointments
  • Commit to having a better relationship
  • Inform your coach if you are not understanding something or if he is missing something.
  • If you are ready to undertake these expectations and would like to see the above tools and principles developed in your relationship, call us at 604-539-5277 to set up an initial consultation.

    Don’t live in our area? We can still help — see our page on marathon counseling sessions and call us today for further information.